Questions to Expect at Pre-Marital Counseling
Pre-marital counseling can be a way for couples to enhance their marriage experience. Counseling can be either professional or religious.
Although pre-marital counseling doesn’t necessarily follow a standard format, couples can expect their counselor to ask them basic questions about values, communication styles, personality characteristics, financial planning styles and overall marriage expectations.
Communication and Conflict Resolution
Your pre-marital counselor is likely to ask both you and your fiancée questions about your communication and conflict resolution styles. According to Connection Care, a couples counseling website, you can expect your counselor to ask you questions about how you react when conflict arises.
Examples of questions you might be asked include:
- When there’s a problem, how does your partner communicate with you?
- Is your partner a good listener?
- How does your partner end an argument or discussion?
- Do you feel like your partner takes your point of view into consideration during an argument?
- Do you feel like conflicts between you and your partner get resolved or go unresolved?
Through these questions, your counselor wants to help you determine how compatible you are in terms of communication and conflict resolution, and what you can do to improve these skills so your marriage doesn’t suffer.
It might be uncomfortable to talk about finances with a counselor you barely know or even with your future spouse, but according to WebMD, money issues are one of the top seven problems couples face during the course of a marriage.
Your pre-marital counselor likely will ask you questions about your current individual financial situation, your general attitudes toward saving and spending, who will be in charge of finances, whether you plan to carve out a pre-nuptial agreement and how money and assets will be split in the case of a divorce.
Do you plan to rent or own?
How will your assets and possessions be joined? Your counselor will want to explore any financial insecurities or concerns you have individually and as a couple, He will want to help you develop strategies for dealing with money issues now and in the future.
Everyone’s heard about “irreconcilable differences” as a reason for divorce, so it’s no wonderyour counselor will want to explore your personality compatibility.
Your counselor likely will ask you if there are any habits, attitudes or temper issues your fiancée has that you’re uncomfortable with and if you can live with these if they don’t change.
Your counselor might ask you if you are willing to change or work on some of the personality issues your fiancée isn’t happy with.
In terms of marriage expectations, the pre-marital counselor wants to determine if both of you have the same vision for the marriage. The counselor might want to know why you want to get married, why it’s important for you to get married, if your parents had a good marriage and what both you and your fiance plan to contribute to the marriage.
Your counselor likely will ask if you plan to have children, how many you each want to have, when you plan to have children, what parenting style you plan to use to raise your children and if you’re willing to compromise.
Your counselor likely will ask you if you’re OK with your partner being dominant in one area or prefer to be equal in all areas and what roles you plan to assume as a husband or a wife.
Spirituality and Religion
Spirituality and religion can become a serious issue, especially for couples from different religious backgrounds. Religious differences often can remain dormant until children come along, but a good marriage counselor will explore your spiritual compatibility.
Your counselor likely will ask you what, if any, religion you practice, how important religion is to you, if you’d be willing to convert, if you expect your fiancee to convert, what holidays you plan to observe, if you plan to participate in organized religion, whether you expect your partner to participate with you and in what religion you plan to raise any children you have.