How to Pick a Second Husband
Your first marriage didn’t last, but don’t worry. Everyone is divorced these days. There is really no stigma attached to divorce anymore, and it puts you in a more knowledgeable position when you choose a man to be your second husband.
The key is to use that knowledge to do a better job choosing a husband the second time around.
How to Pick a Second Husband
Forget about Romantic Love
That’s probably what led you astray in the first place. As a divorcée, you’re older and wiser than you were when you married the first time.
You should have the romantic fantasies out of your system by now. There’s nothing in “true love” that will sustain a household. A busy sex life is enviable, but it won’t pay the mortgage and can be developed later.
Consider the facts of your Life
If you have children or family members you take care of, a job that requires long hours or out-of-town travel, a quirky friend who turns up on your couch every once in a while or pets you love like siblings, consider these factors in choosing a husband.
Unlike your first husband, your second husband has to fit into your life around these other elements.
Think about what you’re willing to Give
You had a chance to test-drive this theory in the first marriage. Now, be honest with yourself about how much you can comfortably do for your second husband.
If you work long hours, a man who can’t cook may not be the right match for you. In general, a man who is needy usually does not make a good second husband.
Look for Independence
You learned a lot about yourself in the first marriage. Trying to keep it together and then watching it fall apart despite your efforts caused you to grow up and see the world differently.
Look for a second husband who has learned some lessons, too. You need a man who can take care of himself.
Break the Cycle
Your first husband was your Prince Charming, until you discovered his flaws. Choose the one trait of his that you disliked the most and be sure your second husband doesn’t have that characteristic.
Everyone has baggage. When choosing a second husband, you’re not looking for perfection. Look for someone whose flaws you can live with.
Take your Time
Instead of rushing into a second marriage and finding you’ve made the same mistakes, take time to consider your options. Remaining single and continuing to look for the right second husband is always an option. You never know whom you will meet next.
Tips & Warnings
- Don’t be fooled by the wine-you-and-dine-you type. Sometimes a good date doesn’t make a good husband. Find out what he’s like in some of the less-glamorous moments of life.
- Don’t take on a man who is “broken” as your second husband. He must heal himself before you get involved.
- Don’t think you have to marry the first man you meet who has a job (although a job is a good sign). If he’s not right for you, let him go. There will be others.
- Don’t sell yourself short. The things that are important to you are important. A good second husband will respect that.