How to Comfort Your Wife As She Grieves
Women are always asking their husbands to be supportive and comforting, but what does that really mean?
What do you say or do when the woman you love has lost someone that she loves? Here are a few simple things every husband should know about how to comfort their wives.
Things You’ll Need
4 Steps to Comfort Your Wife As She Grieves
First : Take your Wife’s Grief Seriously
She may be grieving over a lost parent, a childhood friend she hasn’t seen in 20 years, or a pet that saw her through difficult times. Even if you don’t understand the reason that this loss is difficult for her, respect the fact that it IS difficult for her.
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Second : Lighten the Load for Her
Take care of some of the day-to-day responsibilities that she would normally handle. This could include laundry, cooking (or ordering) dinner, taking care of the kids, or light housework. Having fewer responsibilities for a few days will give her more time to deal with her grief.
If she would prefer to continue these responsibilities, let her (some women want to stay as busy as possible until they are ready to face their grief), but be ready to step in if she asks for help later.
Third : Listen
This means that you need to turn off the TV and any other distractions and really focus on what she tells you. You do not need to solve anything, just let her share her feelings and let her know that you care.
This can be demonstrated by looking at her as she talks and giving short responses that show you’re listening (“I never knew that“, “I understand“, “Uh-huh“, “I remember that too“).
If its too difficult or painful for her to discuss her feelings, try writing letters back and forth so that she is still able to express herself and you can still let her know that you “heard” her.
Fourth : Touch Her
No, I’m NOT talking about sexual touching.
Hug her tight so that she knows you love her. Hold her hand so that she knows you’re beside her in whatever she goes through.
Hold her as she cries. Cuddle with her so she feels safe. Loving physical touch can bring a wealth of healing.
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If you are also grieving, don’t be afraid to ask your wife to do these things for you as well.
Tips and Warnings
- Grieving is a process and takes time. Be patient with your wife as she works through this process.
- If grieving causes thoughts, threats, or attempts at suicide, call 911 immediately!
- If grieving turns into depression or leads to the abuse of alcohol and/or drugs, consult a mental health professional right away. Many people require professional assistance to handle grief and there are numerous professionals available to assist you.
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